What All Great Conversations Need
Not getting what you want in your career? Maybe you are not
asking effectively.
Communication should be simple. You say one thing, and the
other person says another. The challenge is that each person
communicates differently. People listen to what is being said
differently, and they interpret what they hear differently,
too.
The burden of getting the message across successfully falls on
the person who needs to get their message across. This
person is you. The more simply you can state what you want, the
easier it will be for you to get it. The clearer you can be
upfront, the better your results will be. Miscommunication will be
minimized, and the next steps in getting what you want will become
evident.
So, How You Communicate Well? Follow These Four Points
Below:
1. Have
A Purpose.
Purpose is a desired result or effect. Purpose is your
intention-the positive outcome that you want to occur. Great
conversations happen in the mind first, when you are able to
visualize yourself obtaining a favorable result. Once you can see
yourself being successful, you become successful.
In order to figure out your purpose, ask yourself the
following:
- What do I want?
- What would I like the other person to say?
- What would I like the other person to do?
- What would I like to happen after the conversation is over?
It's important not to have a conversation without purpose. If
you don't have a purpose, you will tend to flub your way through
the conversation, and the other person will not get what you are
saying or understand what you are asking for.
2. Have
A Focus.
You have focus when you are working toward something specific.
You have a very definite goal in your mind that you want to reach.
Unlike purpose, which gets you ready to have the conversation,
focus keeps you on track when you are already talking.
You can get focused by asking yourself the
following:
· What do I
want to happen?
· What are the
specific things I need from this conversation?
· What are the
specific things I need the other person to say?
· What are the
specific things I need the other person to do?
· What will be
the specific points I will make sure I cover/discuss?
· What do I see
going wrong with the conversation, and how can I turn it
around?
There are different ways to say focused. You can bring an
agenda or a list of items you want to discuss, or you can state
your purpose up front. This way, if the conversation goes off
track, you have something to bring you back to your original
intent.
3. Get
Agreement.
An agreement is an arrangement between parties regarding a
course of action. You know an agreement has been reached when the
other person understands what you are saying and agrees to do what
you have asked.
You know you have reached an agreement when you have
covered the following items:
- Both sides have had the opportunity to speak.
- There are no other points to cover at that time.
- The parties shake hands or put into writing what was agreed to.
Agreement is important. It signifies that you have covered all
of the bases, listened well, asked and answers all questions, and
accomplished your purpose. You had a goal in mind and you reached
it. Good for you.
4.
Create Next Steps.
The next steps are the things that will happen after the
conversation is over. During the conversation, you will discuss
what will happen next. You will also spell out the timing of
things, the order in which things will occur, and arrange another
time when you will speak again.
You are the person responsible for making sure next steps have
been created. Do not leave it up to the other party. Keep next
steps in mind while you are creating your focus and reaching an
agreement.
While you are creating subsequent tasks, ask yourself the
following:
· What will I
do next?
· What will the
other person do next?
· When will we
meet again?
· When will we
check in to make sure we are both on track?
· When will our
agreement be complete?
Without next steps, the agreement ends with the
conversation.
© 2009
